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Which are you after a fight?

Talk it through, make peace first, need reassurance, or need some space?

16 items · About 3 min

This is an original test written by this site, not a validated psychological scale. Read the result as a prompt for reflection, not a measurement.

How to answerThink about how you are after an argument or falling-out with a partner (or someone very close). How much does each statement sound like you?

  1. After a fight, I want to talk the whole thing through as soon as possible.
  2. To ease the tension, I often apologise first, even when I don't think it was all my fault.
  3. After a fight, I need to hear "we're okay" before I can settle.
  4. When I'm worked up, I need some time on my own first.
  5. I explain, point by point, why I thought and acted the way I did.
  6. When they're upset, I put my own frustration aside.
  7. If they go quiet or don't reply, I get more and more uneasy.
  8. Partway through an argument, I may suddenly not want to talk any more.
  9. If what they say doesn't match what actually happened, it's hard for me not to correct it.
  10. I look for a way to smooth things over, like bringing them a drink or making a small joke.
  11. A hug or a gentle word calms me more than any explanation.
  12. I can only say what I really mean once I've calmed down.
  13. Until we reach some kind of conclusion, I can't let it go.
  14. Making up quickly matters more to me than working out who was right.
  15. I worry that this fight might have put distance between us.
  16. When they push to sort it out right now, I want to pull away even more.
0 of 16 answered
About this quiz

There's no right way to react after a fight; our first move usually comes from how we learned to handle conflict. This test is meant to help you see your own first move, and what your partner might be going through in that moment, so you can find your way back to each other sooner next time.

SourceOriginal content by this site. Not a validated psychological scale.